1 — Valar Morghulis — It may seem like a cop out to but Broox’s team in the number one spot because he’s the reigning champ, the people’s champ, a likable winner for the first time in league history, etc. etc. but seriously, look at his team. DeMarco Murray and LeSean McCoy are easily the best RB duo in the NMFFL (even if LeSean McCoy is a complete idiot). A weak bench and the curse of the no-name change are the only two things that will keep Broox from a repeat trip to the playoffs.
2 — Steve Smith’s Lunch Money — Cory is what I like to think of as an expansion member of the league… not an OG member but a guy who’s come in over the last 5 years and stuck around. He’s been getting a little better each year he’s been in the NMFFL and this is the year I think he pops. His biggest weakness is quarterback but he’s got solid running backs, depth at WR, and I think this is the year the LaDarius B.I.G. lives up to the hype.
3-- Dr. Tannehill's Retirment Home -- I'm not going to lie, I don't get the reference here. What does this team name refer to outside of Ryan Tannehill's last name? Anyways, I think Coby should be cursed by the fantasy gods for not drafting Cam Newton but in my opinion he picked a good year to avoid the former National Championship winning QB (beat the Ducks). As long as Coby stops offering dumb ass trades, he will live long enough to make the playoffs.
4— Three Pumps — We tried to kick him out of the league but he came back and drafted a team that, IMHO, will make the playoffs. Michael Epstein lives in the shadows and is only known by 6 members of the league BUT we would all be huge pussies if we kicked him out because his team is good. I see zero holes in this team’s starting lineup but the bench is weak AF and if anyone on this team misses significant time, Eppy is UTCWOAP (up the creek w/o a paddle).
5 -- Your Tears Will Phillip Rivers -- I like Jowl's bench almost as much as his starting lineup which is a reminder that the season is a marathon not a sprint. Having Arian Foster come off the IR in a few weeks will be niceeee and, oh, if he sucks, Jowl has Alfred Blue too. Negative points for a repurposed team name and because the Zags suck.
6-- C.H.A.F. City Ass Sleeves -- The new guy immediately won me over with his chill ass team name and his squad ain't half bad either. Three starting running backs & a Sam Bradford who some are predicting will have MVP caliber season makes this a playoff team BUT Amin is a newcomer and I seriously question his mental fortitude during the rigors of the NMFFL season.
7 — The Big LeKowski’s — Not only did Benny draft this team all by himself but they also don’t suck. The bench is always an issue with any of Benny Ward’s teams (he struggles with late round picks and waiver wire pick ups) but the combo of Andrew Luck and Gronk makes my mouth water (and not just because of Gronk’s bro-lifestyle & Andrew Luck’s relatable neck beard). Also, I’m a self admitted Crow-Hoe.
8 -- Ty Sir, Cam I Have Another? -- I want to like this team. Electing Wardo as commish has ushered this league into a renaissance of sorts and this team has names that pop. Ameer Abdullah, Randall Cobb, Alshon Jeffrey, and Cam Newton are exciting but they’re also a rookie, two banged up dudes, and a QB with literally NO ONE to throw to. I want to like this team but I can’t go all in on them until they show me something
9-- Dub Sack of Grams -- Gowdy's team and Wardo's team are the same to me. I'll call them the Missouri Teams because much like how Missouri is the Show Me State, these are the Show Me Teams. Lot's of big play potential w/ Big Ben, DeMaryius, and Jimmy Graham but also a lot of question marks -- who will emerge from St. Louis' backfield, will Jimmy Graham drink enough nano-water to be successful in Seattle, etc.
10 -- Jamaal'ing Up With The Joneses -- You sir are a mouthful! Not the easiest team name to roll off the tongue but I like this lineup outside of the running back position. This might be the most average team in the league. Decent receivers, good QB, and below average running backs = welcome to mediocrity.
11 -- Cleveland Steamers -- I like three players on this team A LOT: Tom Brady, DeAndre Hopkins, and Jeremy Hill. The rest of this team is more mediocre than a CoCo's breakfast and the Cleveland Steamers will be nothing more than spoilers this year. Also, the Rausch Curse.
12 -- My Name is Jeff — The most hated team in league looks like it will back down to earth this year after flying a little too close to the sun in seasons past. Outside of two stud running backs (Lamar Miller will be top-10 this year), I see no reason why this team will make the playoffs. This is a team of unknowns and I think they will finish the season unknown and not on anyone’s radar.
13 -- Breez Nutz -- This team is all Ferraris and you know what happens to Ferraris? They look really cool in your garage and they're incredible machines but they break down easily and require constant maintenance. Sammy Watkins = Ferrari. Nate Washington = Ferrari. Victor Cruz = broken down ass Ferrari. Giovanni Bernard's brother went to OSU but Jeremy Hill is taking too many touches in Cincy to make me believe in Bernard.
14 -- Andre's Royal Johnson -- Crawford did it again, he reached with one player (Brandin Cooks, last year it was Julius Thomas) and now he has to start Buck Allen at running back (only one game until Blount comes back but still, Blount is a Patriot RB). If Cooks can have the Antonio Brown type season Crawford thinks he can then this team is a playoff sleeper, if not Crawford is hoping for injuries to the starting RBs in Denver and Minny.
15 -- Yeezy 2020 -- Never knew Trent to be a politically minded Kayne West fan but he is the second most hated team in the league so I’m sure he will chalk this low ranking up to another example of “the haters making him famous.” Charles Johnson, Andrew Hawkins, and Harry Douglas are definitely the least intimidating WRs in the league and unless this team can find a way to acquire Adrian Peterson, they ain’t making the playoffs.
16 -- Drake's New Favorite Team -- Speaking of players that do NOT intimidate, who the f**k are Scottie's running backs? I thought my RBs were weak but holy sh*t, Knile Davis and Karlos Williams? Seriously Scottie?
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